Friday, January 29, 2010

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Even Craig Ehlo is shaking his white-ass head

Dave Chappelle has this bit about things that are so incredibly racist that they don't even make him mad — just shocked about how racist they are.

Presenting: the All-American Basketball Alliance, aka the ALL-WHITE PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL LEAGUE. (h/t Doron)

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league," the statement said.


Don "Moose" Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league's roster restrictions is not racism.

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of "street-ball" played by "people of color." He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas' indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans' dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

"Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" he said. "That's the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction."

Wow, that's racist.

I could spend all day rattling off 1) names of white players with "street ball" game and 2) names of players of color who play capital-F Fundamental ball, but what's the point? Commissioner David Duke is probably already planning 2010 All-Star Weekend at Auschwitz.

I will point out, though, that Arenas' suspension has nothing to do with his skin color. Anyone who follows basketball knows he's one of the most interesting and intelligent players in the game. He just also happens to be bat-shit insane.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

If Avatar causes you to have suicidal thoughts, please act on them


James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.


A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "

Do it, Mike. James Cameron wants you to do it. DO IT.

(h/t Marc)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Silent Meow

My cat does this weird silent meow sometimes, so I Googled "silent meow" just out of curiosity.

From the first paragraph of the first search result:

When referencing her cats, a good friend of mine says, "My cats are just little people in fur coats who walk on all fours and speak a different language. I don't understand a word they are saying to me!"

The next paragraph begins: "When I was a child, one of my favorite books was 'Alice through the Looking Glass' by Lewis Carroll." Stopped reading after that.

Another search result describes a silent meow thusly:

Your cat will look up at you and tilt his head ever so slightly, open his mouth, and a slight almost hiccup like noise will come out. This is the highest form of "please" a cat can offer.

Why is all cat journalism written by insane cat ladies? Where are all the cat scientists at? Get at me.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Monday, January 04, 2010

New Year's Resolution

Write more crap here!