Saturday, December 20, 2008

I have an idea for a movie

It's called Nurse Practitioner. It's about a mild-mannered RN in her mid to late twenties who's also a highly skilled assassin. She's been able to balance her two professional lives exceptionally well for some time — 12-hour shifts in the hospital three days a week, with another three dedicated to clandestine murder. She drives gun metal-colored Volkswagen GTI. She has lots of issues with mortality.

On her one day off, she visits her mostly senile father in a nursing home. He is a legendary assassin whose sickening dedication to his craft destroyed both his family and his mental lucidity. The Nurse constantly worries that she is going to end up like him.


A charming but suspiciously inquisitive English gentleman unexpectedly shows up in her rotation due to an irregular heartbeat. He gradually reveals intimate details about The Nurse's life. She soon realizes that he is not there for an irregular heartbeat after all! He is there to settle a long-standing score between his father, or maybe his brother, and The Nurse's father. (I'm still working this part out.) There will be a lot of ethnic henchmen, though.


Lots and lots of fighting ensues, both in and out of the hospital. IV drip stands as swords! Respirator tubes as garrote wire! Syringes as syringes filled with poison!


Think of the costume possibilities.


Score by Hot Chip.
Or maybe Massive Attack.

There will be one subtle in-joke about Daryl Hannah's nurse character in
Kill Bill.

CAST

Jessica Biel ... The Nurse

Gary Oldman ... The Nurse's Father

Mary-Louise Parker ... The Nurse's Dead (OR IS SHE?) Mother (mostly flashbacks)

Christopher Eccleston ... Charming But Suspiciously Inquisitive English Guy/Villain

Diego Luna ... The Nurse's Love Interest, Who is in a Dance-Punk Band But Works in the Hospital's Laundry Room to Make Ends Meet

5 comments:

kibby said...

how fucking stoned are you?

Drew said...

Stone sober.

Paul Tsikitas said...

Can her boss at the hospital be Dan Hedeya? And my CAPTHCKA word is "emashing." AWESOME!

Sara said...

You've gotta make the Nurse do the Kill Bill whistle.

Stev said...

Drew,

I want to put every dime I have towards making this a reality.