Sunday, July 29, 2007

Weird things poppin'

I'm a noted e-narcissist, meaning that I Google search my name on a pretty regular basis. But when I went for it the other day, something...just...wasn't right.

The first result? This blog. I'll take it.

The second? An old bio page from my college newspaper.

The third?

The California Raisins' Wikipedia page.

This struck me as the perfect opportunity to roll out the second installment of my not-at-all-regular not-feature, the Trapper Juan Disconcertameter 5000
. (You may probably don't remember the first installment, in which I examined my still-vexing review of Spider-Man 3.)


What's most disconcerting about The California Raisins' Wiki being the third result of a Google search for my name?

a. That I am vocally and vehemently anti-raisin

b. That the link precedes Google ghosts like this article about ferret festivals or this piece on rollerblading inline skating

c. That every time I think about Lou Rawls, I'm like, "Man, that dude totally looks like the lead singer of The California Raisins" even though most normal people probably think about something like that the other way around


Friday, July 20, 2007

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Weeds: Season 3 Preview

See you August, Nancy.
And Dexter? 'Til September.

(Thanks to FreeWilly420 for the video. And the name.)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

What's the worst theme song on TV?

Dear Perry Farrell: I love you, but you're really starting to piss me off.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Zen and the art of retarded headlines/screencaps: Cleaning Out the Bookmarks Edition






* This article is amazing.


To quote Pat: Barf.


Okay, kinda cute.


Don't fucking push it.


Doesn't make much sense, but a necessary headline evil nonetheless.




You're not even trying, are you?



Saturday, July 07, 2007

Thursday, July 05, 2007

You Got It (The White Stuff)

It goes without saying that ESPN's "Who's Now?" is the most excruciating fake bracket-style tournament in recent memory. The other day, I caught the judges discussing a matchup between Dwayne Wade and Shaun "The Flying Tomato" White, a faceoff that prompted newly minted analyst Keyshawn Johnson to offer something to the effect of "Here's a question for you: Who the heck is The Flying Tomato?" It's terrifying that a major media outlet has created a forum in which Keyshawn Johnson's mere awareness of you is an influential force. (For the record, voters determined that Wade was nower than White.)

Here's a short list of notable individuals that Keyshawn Johnson has probably never heard of:

- Anjelica Huston

- Nikola Tesla

- J.K. Rowling

- Carl Jung

- Wayne Chrebet

From Keyshawn's
Johnson is a cousin to Baltimore Ravens CB Samari Rolle. However, contrary to popular belief, he is not related to Bengals WR Chad Johnson. This was clarified in a 2006 pregame show between Chad's Bengals and Keyshawn's Panthers. Despite this, it is listed in the Bengals' media guide that they are cousins. Although Samari Rolle is cousins with Bengals WR Chad Johnson.


Apologies for blatantly pimping out a story in my section, but David Snyder (who y'all know as
PhilaFoodie) wrote a great experiential piece on the foie gras issue, complete with quotes from none other than Danny Meyer. Trilladelphia.

This summer's nerdiest
bitch 'n' moan post also features this summer's nerdiest comment section flame war. Enjoy.

Gas Mask Community?

incredibly insightful piece on Sicko from none other than Kurt Loder.

Chef Shola Olunloyo's excellent
Studiokitchen blog. (Wrote a short piece on him here.)

The best
blog post I've read in a long, long time.

In case you were wondering about the horrible scar on
Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi's's her 2000-word thinkpiece on it.

Monday, July 02, 2007


Up until recently, I had the distinction of being the last person on the Eastern Seaboard without a digital camera. Now that I finally have one (a steal for the price, too), I'm fufilling my implied duty by sharing pictures of my pets. Click click.



Benny (small one) and Joon (really, really big one).

Back with actual ish soonish.