Saturday, March 31, 2007

Nonlinear Thoughts on LOST VI-VIII

Let me just start off by saying that I was sincerely flattered by the two (count 'em!) of you who requested a LOST post following Wednesday's episode. So what if one of them was my cousin? Shh.

********




- Is Emilie de Ravin hot or no? I'm on the fence. This picture makes deciding that much more difficult, and for that, I'm sorry.

- In Inky TV columnist David Hiltbrandt's infuriatingly titled "Dave on Demand" column, he moans about TV being "too moronic," and
cites this episode's non-reveal as evidence:
Jack (Matthew Fox) and Claire (Emilie de Ravin) are step-siblings. That plot twist might have had more impact if Lost obsessives hadn't been predicting that outcome on the Internet for the last year.
The fact that everyone already knew these goobers were related has less to do with the predictability of the show than it does the disturbingly analytical nature of Drew Lazor LOST freaks. Seriously, the Lostpedia entry for fucking Apollo Candy Bars features more info than Wiki's page about the cotton gin. Also, if you're going to rock the nitpick: since they share a father, Claire and Jack are half-siblings, not step-siblings. Get your game right, Dave.

- Sawyer was reading
The Fountainhead. Please disregard everything I just said.

- What was with the Civil-War-era-love-letter gushiness of the note Claire and Charlie attached to the seagull? ("There is new life, too, and with it...there is hope.") My note would've been all like "YO THERE R BEARS AND PROTESTANTS TRYIN 2 KILL US PLZ SEND CIGS/HELP ITS THE ISLAND W THE PLANE ON IT K THX PEACE PS THERES ALSO A MUSLIM B CAREFUL"


- There's no way I would make "the list." I'm all flawed.


********




- I'm glad Locke's paralysis was the result of something relatively gully, like getting speared out of a window by his kidney-stealing father, and not something stupid, like getting run over by
Claire in her Bauhaus phase.

- Blablablowingupthesubmarineblablaimaginationboxbla


-
New wallpaper?

********




- Weird.

- I know the writers were going for a whodunnit/look-it's-like-
CSI leitmotif, but the pacing of it all was odd, especially since the two episodes prior to this one featured "big" reveals centered on characters people actually care about. This is the first time in recent memory that LOST asked and answered all of its own questions in the span of an hour. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

- Paulo/Nikki = obviously the least essential of all the LOST couples. If Jin/Sun is breakfast, Charlie/Claire is lunch and Jack/Sawyer/Kate is dinner, Paulo/Nikki is brunch. No...linner. Crappy linner. Crappy linner gets its own episode?


-
Adam Riff: "Whenever new old castaways Nikki and Paulo are on screen, I feel like I'm watching Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, if neither Rosencrantz nor Guildenstern ever appeared in Hamlet." Agreed. Also, Kiele Sanchez's asparagus-induced befuddlement (above) = painfully existential.

- Before
300, Rodrigo Santoro voiced Stuart in the Brazilian version of Stuart Little. Sanchez was a finalist on the MTV's first Wanna Be a VJ in 1998. She lost to Jesse Camp, who now works at a pet store. She's engaged to Zach Helm. How [your fave letter here]-List.

- Billy Dee Williams as himself. Somewhere out there, a pockmarked
Star Wars fanboy LOST his nut to a show I actively watch. Shudder.

- Re: being buried alive...isn't sand, like, lighter than your average dirt? Could you poke your way out of there or no? Paulo could totally samba his way out.

********


I just got an iPod.

1) How do I go about listening to a LOST podcast?
2) How do I conceal my desire to listen to a LOST podcast from everyone I know?
3) Fuck.

3 comments:

mc said...

i forgot that i missed the last two lost eps prior to this one...

which means your lost post just ruined it all. you're a jerk (regardless of whether or not i requested said post).

i'm going to catch up and then reply with something that actually adds to the dialogue.

Sara said...

Ohhh thanks for the Lost update!

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!