Thursday, March 15, 2007

Nonlinear Thoughts on LOST III-V

I've been slacking like a fucking certified belay instructor keeping up with this generally pointless LOST feature. So, for the sake of my own irrelevance, here are abridged nonlinear thoughts on some past episodes. As always, feel free to ignore all the writing and stare at Matthew Fox's Ivy-League-hated-on junk.


- Even Bai Ling's most innocuous dialogue ("I went for the swim in the ocean!") gives me an excruciating migraine. Listening to her talk is like sitting in your car and voluntarily setting off the alarm.

- The "Oh really, Bobby?" quip that Sawyer directed at Karl was a decidedly obscure reference, even for someone familiar with
The Brady Bunch. He could've been talking about anyone.

- So Bai Ling "sees people for who they are." (Lostpedia lists her occupation as
"Tattoo Artist/Seer." Huh...) Jack's sloppy ass demands that she tattoo him, and she reluctantly complies; it's later revealed that the tattoo reads "he walks amongst us, but he is not one of us." The ability to single out the one white guy in all of Thailand ... prescient.

- Jack has bad taste in women.


- Sometimes, the parallels LOST draws between past and present are eye-gougingly literal. So, young Hurley was skinny, but then he's abandoned by his father, who gives him a chocolate bar as a parting gift. Now wait just a ... hear me out. He's fat now ... so is it possible that he looks to compulsive eating as a coping mechanism? Far-fetched, I know ...

- An analogy. Asian reporter Tricia Tanaka :
Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa :: Gary Oldman : ________. Solve at your own risk.

- Not gonna lie:
The meteor scene was pretty excellent.

- Sawyer and Kate's triumphant return to camp is of a piece with the ovation a high school football star receives after coming back from a serious injury. None of them accomplished anything particularly remarkable ... but
God are they good-looking.

- Stupid popular kids.

Vincent. Air Bud. Who would win in a dogfight? Yeah, the kind with planes.


- Pat's one-sentence take on this episode's the series' overall theme: "People who can't change finally change! Or do they? Yes! Or do they? Yes! Maybe! Repeat."

- The restaurant where Sayid gets nabbed is called Le Jardin Croissant Fertile. Agh.

- To be honest, I just don't really care about the
Mikhail plotline. (Peep that picture's filename.)

- Via this episode's
'Cultural References' section:

Paulo calls Sawyer "hillbilly", a pejorative term for people who live in remote rural areas and are supposedly ignorant.

Sawyer calls Paulo "Zorro", a fictional costumed hero known for his Spanish heritage and sword fighting skills.

Sawyer calls Hurley "Avalanche", a super heavyweight professional wrestler from the 1980's.

What, you think I don't know who Avalanche is?

COMING RIGHT UP: Only The Cure understands Claire.
SHORT WAIT: Find out how Locke became paralyzed. Speed painting mishap?

1 comment:

Sara said...

I'm glad Lost decided to stop sucking. I'm really pissed though, I have to miss Wednesday's ep, and I hate watching them online, GRRR.