Sunday, February 25, 2007

If you liked If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?...



Doesn't dude on the right look like an Aryan Kyle MacLachlan?

I'm half-watching the Oscars right now. Will Smith's son seems like a complete prick. I bet he doesn't hold doors, pull out chairs or go easy on the swears. Also, he can't read. He's stupid.

According to the bossblog, James Cameron claims he's discovered the remains of Jesus Christ. I have no idea why I haven't heard about this yet, but the story seems to have originated at Time's Middle East blog. Peruse the comments at your own risk. Personal favorites: "So does this mean that it's nothing more than a cruci-fiction?" (is that you, Bruce Vilanch?) and the contributions of user "Believer," who copied and pasted the phrase "FUCK JAMES CAMERON HE LICKS HIS MOTHERS PROLAPSED ANUS" about 100 times in a row.

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Amazing things seem to happen in Wisconsin. Like, you'll come home drunk and pop in some Spanish porn, and your neighbor will hear it and think you're murdering someone, so he'll kick in your door and try to stab you with a sword. Things like that. (thanks Kyle)

Clearly-from-South-Philly St. Joe's student gets beaten down by a cab driver, provides wonderful quotes: "He comes over to me, grabs my hand, puts it on the car and starts punching me in the face...he weighs about 280 pounds; I weigh about 135. I was like, 'Uh, I hope this guy stops punching me in the head, you know, because it is ridiculous.'" God bless ya, Pasquale.

The Ravens have signed Brian Billick through 2010. People in Baltimore either love or hate this dude, but I don't really feel strongly about him either way. I do think, however, that turning to Sun Tzu's The Art of War to motivate your players is kinda presumptuous. We all know you're well-read, Bri. Don't rub it in.

Origins of the gyroball revealed. Japan got scientists for errythang.

Surprise: Suze Orman has never had sex with a man. Yeah, not surprised either. Her cheekbones can turn people into stone. In the event that a person is already made of stone, her cheekbones can make the stone person 25 to 30 percent more stony.

M.O.P. is licensing one of their singles to the NBA. Anything to ease the immense pain inflicted by the Pussycat Dolls.

Two gems courtesy of Nick Norlen: MacGyverisms (the source link, devastatingly, is dead) and Monty Python's classic dead parrot sketch reenacted by Nigerian e-mail scammers.

If I ever release an album, I will use this picture as cover art. It also has tremendous potential as crappy Photoshop fodder.

I've had this bookmarked forever: Tiny Mix Tapes' brilliant review of Nine Inch Nails' With Teeth.

1 comment:

Lou said...

That album review is easily the best thing I've ever seen.