Sunday, December 10, 2006

I feel the battle's just begun

Me and you, your momma and Dakota too*

I was up in New York this past weekend attending the DFA Holiday Extravaganza ("color" for an upcoming DIW story). Many thanks to my pal Sasha (aka "Alex") for letting us crash at her place in the Village. I'd been to NY a number of times before, but I learned quite a few things on this trip. Things that are best expressed in list form. (More impressions here.)

- When taking the Chinatown bus from Philly, avoiding sitting within a 10-foot radius of the bathroom at all costs.
- Cabbies reserve the right to refuse you service because they "don't know" where your destination is. New York cabbies are self-serving assholes.
- It's possible for a venue to be within city limits and still be in the middle of fucking nowhere.
- Employees at crappy faux-fair trade coffee houses expect a credit card tip for lazily filling a to-go cup with house blend from one of those giant thermos things.
- If you're stricken with a sudden panic attack on the street, breathe. Just breathe.

The other day, I was walking over to the 7-Eleven by my place, and an older black dude rode by me on his bike. This wasn't in any way out of the ordinary, if you don't count the fact that our boy had a katana strapped to his back. A katana.

I'm pleased to announce that Emil/Emynd, who you might know as Schizophrenic Tenant Number One, one half of White T's and White Belts or that guy who calls everything racist, is back blogging at Crossfaded Bacon. Be sure to check out his limited edition Omar Little tee. Christmas present.

Stev of Prosthetic Foreheads counts down his top 25 wrestlers of the year. I don't have any reason to take issue with him naming Samoa Joe number one, other than that dude's penchant for metal ball necklaces. It's 2006, Joe! Update your neckwear approach. I bet he totally owns the Empire Records soundtrack on cassette.

Bravo has yet to secure Tim Gunn for the next season of Project Runway. If you don't make this work, your network's staff will die by my hand I'm not watching anymore.

Food lead on the wonderful Premium Steap in Center City.

Evil Knievel is suing Kanye, claiming that the "Touch The Sky" video tarnished his image. He might have a case, as Kanye is already the king of tarnishing his own damn image. Still love the guy, though.

Isn't it about time that Verizon added the word "blog" to the T9 predictive text lexicon? As of now, the only options for that combination of keystrokes are "clog," (nothing wrong with that) "almi" and "cloi." How am I supposed to alert my friends when I post updates? If only there were an Internet-based construct that allowed for the sending and receiving of text-based messages. UPDATE: "Blog" now appears! Get out my head with your satellites.

Michelle recently asked me if I ever wished I could frame programming descriptions from the Comcast channel guide. Why yes, yes I do:

The Fallen Ones
Casper Van Dien, Kristen Miller, (2005), The discovery of a gigantic mummy in the desert leads to a clash between good and evil when an archaeologist (Casper Van Dien) faces off with a demonic angel. (Horror, 120 Mins.)

Yep, demonic angel. I watched a little bit of it. Co-stars included Tom Bosley, Robert Wagner and the white City Guy, whose last name, incidentally, is Whyte.

Pete recently posted this incredible Groovisions video.

To the Claymates: I saw your boy Aiken on Scrubs the other day. He was actually really funny.

*Please let me know if you've got a better OutKast reference to go here. That one is really lazy.


Trebuchet said...

Dakota Fanning freaks me out. She's like a minerva -- sprung fully formed from her father's head, prepared to conquer the world with her snake-hair --err-- blonde ponytail and huge, snaggletoothed grin.

I hate 4 foot tall gazillionaires. Shit aint fair. Except midgets. Rich midgets (little people? PC schmeecee) have beaten the odds -- twice. Hell yeah for them.

Anonymous said...

I'm more freaked out that she (apparently) only has one leg.