Saturday, September 30, 2006

What's your all-time favorite Bill Murray role?

I guess you can pick What About Bob?, but that'd be a bit like saying Point Break is the crown jewel of Keanu Reeves' catalogue raisonné. A-duh, son.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Shameless self-promotion of the hyperlink variety


(I have the nagging feeling that this isn't the first time I've used an image of
The Riddler Matthew Lesko to lead a post. Sigh.)

Lately, I've gotten out of the habit of linking all my
City Paper stories, mostly because I'm a low-energy kinda guy, and it's a bit presumptuous to boot. BUT, in honor of our stellar 25th anniversary issue (and new website! Shoutout to mensches [menschi?] BH and Marc Steel), here are a couple thang-a-thangs I've penned as of late:

- Story summaries:
1 2 3 (We looked back at some memorable pieces, tried our damndest to encapsulate them in excerpt form and wrote short ledes/conclusions for each. So trill.)
Tales From The Truck (Jimmy Pretzels is the dude.)
Want Some Moore? (I went around with original CP food columnist Holly Moore and ate a bunch of food. Good times.)
- I, uh, "helped out" with a
Pauly Shore interview. God bless The Wiez.
Gettin' Some (I quotheth Sir Young Jeezy: "Yeeeeeahhhhhhh.")
- I've also been doing a bit of posting on the oh-so-revamped
- You know what? Eff it all, here's this week's
Feeding Frenzy, too. Aren't you glad that you now know that Spoons Coffeehouse has a full breakfast menu? I know so.

Alright, enough of this. It's my frickin' day off, after all. Onto some even more irrelevant material...


Remember when we thought HeadOn (applydirectlytotheforehead)
was a tasteless attention-grabber?

At work awhile ago, I was trying to Google Chapterhouse, a restobar type place in Philly. I couldn't find their website right away; instead, I found
this. Like those VW ads: holy...

I initially found
this to be pretty clever, Rex Kwon Do rip-off be damned. Then, I realized it was produced by a kinda-scary Evangelical org called Fish Food. Eek. (Related: who's coming to see Jesus Camp with me? Shit looks crazy...I cannot wait. I pledge allegiance, to the Christian flag...)

Try it. Just try.

This week, on "you got to admit it's getting bettttahh...":
Philips with the weird dynamic weird graphic color weird tees. Also, did you know LED stands for "light-emitting diodes"? I certainly didn't. If you haven't heard it, it's new to you.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Whitlock = the truth


God bless you, Jason Whitlock. The (now former) Page 2 columnist and occasional Kornheiser-baiting jolly-talkin' head has left ESPN, and now he's torching bridges at speeds comparable to Wonder Boy. I don't know what's more amusing--white Deadspin commenters treading oh-so-softly while cracking middle-of-the-taste-road jokes, or Whit's take on Scoop "In Case You Forgot, Let Me Remind You, In Exceedingly Irritating Terms, That I Am African-African; And Yeah, We Listen To Rap" Jackson:

...there’s a big dropoff from being associated with Ralph [Wiley], Hunter [S. Thompson] and Bill [Simmons] than being linked to someone doing a bad Nat X impersonation. It pissed me off that the dude tried to call himself the next Ralph Wiley and stated some shit about carrying Ralph’s legacy. Ralph was one of my best friends. I hate to go all Lloyd Bentsen, but Scoop Jackson is no Ralph Wiley. Ralph was a grown-ass man who didn’t bojangle for anybody. Scoop is a clown. And the publishing of his fake ghetto posturing is an insult to black intelligence, and it interferes with intelligent discussion of important racial issues. Scoop showed up on the scene and all of a sudden I’m getting e-mails from readers connecting what I write to Scoop. And his stuff is being presented like grown folks should take it seriously. Please. I guess I’ll go Bill Cosby on you, but it’s about time we as black people quit letting Flavor Flav and the rest of these clowns bojangle for dollars. There’s going to be a new civil-rights movement among black people and the people bojangling for dollars are going to be put in check."

In the words of Kelso: burn.

(Nice Lloyd Bentsen reference.)

Monday, September 18, 2006

Tie off and find a vein...

...this song opium derivative wants in your bloodstream, like now.

What is it about shamelessly synth-heavy, overwhelmingly vapid SoCal cutesy rollerskate pop that makes me us want to burn all our Bardo Pond albums and start wearing hot purple slip-on Vans? I just don't know. What I do know:

- Hellogoodbye hails from Huntington Beach, Ca., a Coca-Cola-subsidized Cali seaside town that's home to the world surfing championships, my friend Shelly and Tito Ortiz.

- One of these dudes used to babysit Shelly...or Shelly used to babysit his neighbor. Or maybe Shelly babysat the band. I forget, to be honest. I just know that there was some sort of situation involving Shelly, Hellogoodbye and babysitting.

- They were featured prominently on the shit-tastic
Real World: Austin season--the one where they "worked" as "documentary filmmakers" at SxSW. I don't really remember much from this, other than they once spent the better part of an entire episode recording the lead singer playing a banjo in some sand dunes. Or maybe that was just a wonderful, wonderful dream I had.

- I visit my little sister's MySpace page multiple times a day to listen to this fucking song. When it ends, I click the refresh button.

- I have a serious, serious problem.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Next challenge: converting the Frank Dux/Chong Li final fight scene into a Riesen commercial. (Thanks Kyle)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Lo siento

Comin' back hard like Vicente Fox before you know it. Why like Vicente Fox? Because ol' boy is guapo like me. And he campaigns for peace. And pan, which I believe means bread in Spanish.

Have fun with this in the meantime. (courtesy of general mensch BH and The Clog)