Thursday, August 03, 2006

Number one answer

I'm no author, but did it really take two dudes to write this book, especially when one of them is nerd messiah Piers Anthony? (source via Secret Dead Blog) Regardless, John Striker seems like a catch, and he slightly resembles John Saxon circa Enter The Dragon.

Haha, Ken Jennings has a blog. I came across it via this story, which is getting blown way out of proportion by shit media outlets like People, which I definitely read every week. I admire KJ's tongue-in-cheek candor, but certainly don't appreciate sad cases of mistaken identity.

Via Liz, one of the classiest PR gals around: Bad Pitch Blog, which chronicles hapless coverage attempts by some inept free pub whores. This one's great.

I initially found this recent Bayless piece on Charles Barkley's gubenatorial dreams to be typical Skip fare--you know, all "whatever you think, I'm going to think the opposite just to be a dick," et cetera. The more I read, however, the more I realized that dude is borderline delusional and a tad racist: "It also isn't at all a stretch to imagine many other African-American athletes or coaches running a state. Magic Johnson would be a phenomenal governor. Grant Hill would be a politician you could trust. So would Tony Dungy or Avery Johnson or Mike Singletary. I could go on and on."

So basically, the only black athletes that would make good politicians are the ones who don't project traditionally "black" values or personae. Obey Your Thirst's shot-to-shit knees wouldn't hold up one week in office. Also, does he really think MAGIC JOHNSON would be a phenomenal governor? Skip To My obviously never watched The Magic Hour.

Vote Crunchy Black in '08.

They're making a new Bruce Lee biopic starring...Stephen Chow. This could be brilliant, but only if it's a genreless laugh romp combining elements of spaghetti westerns and Looney Tunes.

So much CP:

Vintage (from last week)
Skip Williamson
One Track Mind: Muse "Supermassive Black Hole"
Top 5 Fries
Starfleet International Conference
Toyota Yaris
"Familiar Faces"
"The War On 20th Century Art"

I was looking through my Statcounter thing the other day, and I noticed that one visitor to the site arrived here via South Africa Is Crap, a blog chronicling information about why Dave Matthews' Charlize Theron's home country is a "failed 'Rainbow' nation [declining] into a Turd World Hellhole." Ambitious, and quite convincing. Eff South Africa.

My e-brethren Dallas Penn has been getting tons of well-deserved attention for his brilliant Ghetto Big Mac video, but don't sleep on his ability to get you all misty. That, and his penchant for creepy Opus Dei group pictures. I'm going to try the GBM trick at the McD's down the street sometime soon. I think the employees there will appreciate my hustle.

I like some Owen Wilson on-screen, but he seems like a complete ass in real life. First off, he's from Texas, and y'all know how they can be. Second, his recent comments regarding Steely Dan's plagiarism accusations scream douche: "I have never heard the song `Cousin Dupree' and I don't even know who this gentleman, Mr. Steely Dan, is. I hope this helps to clear things up and I can get back to concentrating on my new movie, `HEY 19.'"

Owen obviously knows that Steely Dan isn't one person. Don't you remember the scene from Armageddon where he complains to the shrink about people who think Jethro Tull is a single dude, and not a collective? He's just trying to be an asshole on purpose. Then again, I wouldn't leave Steely Dan alone in my kitchen, for fear that they'd sprinkle caustic chemicals over the contents of my refrigerator. Are you reelin' in the years...

Sasha (who now goes by Alex, apparently) doesn't think she's eloquent when it comes to analyzing movies. But just read her take on the universally reviled Lady In The Water (23 percent!). Her opinion's as apt as any seasoned film critic's, Bob Balaban notwithstanding:

"What I love about M. Night is he gives a pretty ridiculous situation and says, 'Okay, so this probably wouldn't happen...but what if? How would real people react in this absurd situation I've given you? What if a fucking kid could see dead people? What if aliens attacked the earth? What if you found out your parents lied to you, and you're really living in a modern world?' Here, I couldnt do that. I didn't get what he was trying to say about the human condition because there was too much fantasy...and if there was social commentary, I missed it."

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