Sunday, August 06, 2006

Buy me Xbox 360

So I can play this:

I don't own a video game system. This, of course, isn't counting the Sega Saturn I got stashed at the parent's crib in MD (NBA Live '97, son...just try and fucks with the Barros-to-DeClercq nolook). Regardless, I still enjoy reading about the latest insanity. And this (no, not Andrew DeClercq) is insanity at its, uh...most insane.

I originally caught this clip of
Dead Rising on Destructoid (a wonderful site, despite its heavy reliance on the infuriating term "gamer"), and I just noticed that Jon from Adam Riff™ granted the game pole position on his supremely informative omnibus-esque sidebar. From him: "Play as a photojournalist trapped in a shopping mall with thousands of zombies. Designed to be totally open-ended, the game allows you to investigate whatever you want, kill whoever you want and finish the game by completing whatever objectives you see fit."

Disregarding the obvious appeal of playing as a
photojournalist (remember the old Spiderman games?), DR sounds like the balls for a number of reasons. First and foremost, it's got lots of zombies, but it doesn't come across thinky, a la the Resident Evil series. Of course, by thinky, I mean "capable of making Drew freak out and forget what all the buttons do each time more than one enemy an enemy appears on the screen." Ah, screw Resident Evil.

Anyways, the fluidity aspect is enticing as well. Imagine having the contents of an entire mall at your disposal. In this preview alone, dude lays out undeadizens via:


Samurai sword (Chesapeake Knife & Tool much?)

hockey stick (and puck)

a patio 'brolly

The Bulldog

latex paint!

acoustic guitar



some type of pole
orange juice (not from concentrate)
those things you use to put fenceposts into the ground

Also, the clip's disclaimer ("this game contains scenes of graphic violence and extreme gore") ranks as the most egregious understatement since a friend of mine described
The Quest as "somewhat similar to Bloodsport."

Jesse, if you're out there: I'm coming over to play this forthwith. You've been warned.

(Do all photojournalists know martial arts, or is that just a stereotype?)


Paul Tsikitas said...

I couldn't believe how ridiculous that game looks. I mean, the one part where he just punches the zombies into the stomach and rips out his entrails?! GAH! This game is garunteed to get a lot of shit. Probably more so then GTA. And I'm pissed I never wrote to a developer a ways back when I said that the "Dawn of the Dead" movie needs to be a video game where everything in the mall is good to go.

So I guess I'm going to have to invest in an XBOX 360. I can't believe it. Resident Evil meets GTA meets Dawn of the Dead. Yes.

bunny face said...

i don't know martial arts and i'm a photojournaist. or id like to think so. but at least i know its not true. what?

bunny face said...

i don't know martial arts and i'm a photojournaist. or id like to think so. but at least i know its not true. what?