Thursday, December 15, 2005

I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Just check the posting time. Eghh...

The
David Cross to Larry the Cable Guy letter that's all over the place. I'm not the biggest Cross fan out there, but I definitely rank among the biggest LTCG haters. Disregarding any and all liberal vs. conservative/red vs. blue/metropolitan vs. "salt of the earth" bullshit, I don't like him for one overwhelming reason: dude simply isn't funny. At all. I find his no-sleeves-on-the-flannel schick sophomoric and mostly boring. His boy Ron White/"Tater Salad" is funny as eff, though. I like him.

Samorost 2. I never played/heard of Samorost 1, but the game is crazy. Just click shit. It's really, really hard. I can't get far at all.

Roommate showed me this. He sez: "I sincerely hope this is a joke. But even if it isn't, its pretty amazing."

A few CP articles for y'all: TG parties and spicy-as-eff food. Aren't you excited? I didn't think so. Hey, I'm kinda struggling with my latest "top five" article, which is a rundown of the best places to spot local/national celebrities in the city. I have all my info but some of the people are insanely difficult to get in touch with; if you have any suggestions, feel free to hit me with 'em.

"Exercise...with Alcohol." (Thanks G)

Google, in its early days.

l was asked to compile my top 10 list of 2005, so here's that, complete with terrible haikus for each album:

1. Why?
Elephant Eyelash (Anticon)




Yoni is healthy
He wants fatty rappers to

Not drink any milk





2. The Decemberists
Picaresque (Kill Rock Stars)




Fighting to the death
Belle & Sebastian would fall
To your baroque-fu






3. My Morning Jacket
Z (ATO)




Long hair is back in
Just remember, you hippies

Shoes never went out






4. Kanye West
Late Registration (Roc-A-Fella)




Oh, Kanye: what's wrong?
I know you work hard and shit
But miners do, too





5. Sufjan Stevens
Illinoise (Asthmatic Kitty)




Idea's great, but
Be careful with Maryland

Don't forget
jousting





6. Aesop Rock
Fast Cars, Danger, Fire & Knives (Def Jux)




It's obvious that
You know a lot of big words
Help me pass college





7. Gorillaz
Demon Days (Virgin)




This here parody
Is about as funny as
Saget voiceovers





8. Beck
Guero (WB)




Scientology?
Oh, shit. Beck, you crazy fuck
Go fist some Tom Cruise





9. White Stripes
Get Behind Me Satan (V2)



That's kinda weird, Jack
I just hope Lucifer knows
It's a conga line







10. This Bird Has Flown: A 40th Anniversary

Tribute
to the Beatles' Rubber Soul
(Razor & Tie)





Fiery Furnaces
Ruined my favorite song
Go thrift, and then die

3 comments:

PatH said...

Ever intern I've spoken with so far has Demon Days on their list.

Paul Tsikitas said...

Ha! Love the Haiku for Beck. And good choice's on albums.

Benny said...

The only reason I can watch that Blue Collar Comedy crud is because they always seem to put Ron White on first. Larry the Cable Guy reminds me too much of all my relatives who look/talk/think the same way. And speaking of cool men with the last name White, I'm listening to number 9 right now. Along with half the nation, I'm sure. Nice poetry, Trapper baby.

--b