Thursday, September 15, 2005

Young Bel Air hard head all about the scrilla

Every time I come back home from work or class or whatever, someone has changed the desktop background on my computer. Today, it was this, which is amazing. Thank you. It's not always that pleasant though. Two years ago, my roommates somehow got obsessed with Adult Baby Diaper Lovers (AB/DLs), which are grown-ass sick-in-the-fucking-head people who get off by dressing in Pampers and having people nurture them. Roommates thought it was really funny; it WAS funny at first, then it seriously started freaking me out every time I thought of it. I would get really uncomfortable in class and start twitching, trying to get the bizarre images out of my head, but they just wouldn't leave. I still have night terrors about it to this day. To the objective classmate observer, I probably appeared insane, which most likely explains why I don't have any friends. All because of Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. Kibby, if you are reading this, screw you.

Sometimes, I try look at my MySpace profile objectively as if I wasn't me and decide whether or not I (as someone else) would think I seem like an interesting person. The answer is always a resounding fuck no. He likes the Baltimore Ravens? One of this kid's favorite movies is Dead Poet's Society? I've heard of all the authors he lists under "favorite books"? How juvenile. Drewgro, please.

Speaking of my fave NFL team, it's not really easy being a non-Eagles fan in Philadelphia. I try not to bring up my non-Eagles fan status too often, but when it does come up, I usually get called a fag, which is nice. I'm pretty much a casual football fan; I like to watch games and sometimes read articles/stats online, but I don't follow the sport to a crazy extent.

Good example of liking football too much: before the kickoff of a game last year, I was walking outside my house and noticed two large groups of dudes (not just dudes, but DUDES) congregating on the porches of two houses with about six houses between them. They were screaming all sorts of incoherent shit to each other; at first, I dismissed it as drunken shit-talking, but then I took a closer listen and realized these guys were verbally blowing each other, each group telling the other how awesome they were for liking the Eagles (this is equivalent to two Hasidic Jews chest-bumping each other because they all of a sudden realized they both heart Moses or something). The man-stroking continued until members of each group started piling back into the door, and one dude yelled "Alright bros, I'll see yous at the first touchdown!" I guess they were planning on dogpiling it once TO scored, and then later having a Nati Light-fueled orgy. Herbs.

Blog has a shit ton of music all the time.

I interviewed LaSara FireFox earlier today. I love this lady. She was funny, insightful and brutally, brutally honest. She said "vulva" a bunch of times during the course of our conversation, which is not a bad thing. It's new for me. If you want to borrow Sexy Witch, be my guest. A friend of mine was reading excerpts from it aloud the other day and it's ruefully delicious (an adjective that LaSara likes to use when describing pretty much anything, which is awesome). Kudos to you, LF. Also, I like that your last name is also the dope web browser.

Most bizarre pairing of people ever. Didn't know Mr. Soul Glow was a Kanye fan.

Early this summer, I was approached about appearing on a mailing card for my school's Advancement Department (which incidentally also employs me). I said yes, naturally, because they've always been great to me and I didn't think it would be too big of a deal. Then I finally saw the card. Jesus. Please, look at it and have a hearty chuckle at my expense. Aside from looking like a total douche in the picture, the most embarassing part are my insane quotes at the bottom. A lot of people have been asking me if I actually wrote them. The answer is yes, but I didn't come up with such eloquent PR language on my own. The questionnaire I filled out was specifically tailored to create my disturbing rhetoric (i.e. "How GREAT is La Salle? Feel free to be honest!"). Sigh...if you happen to be an Explorer alum, expect my half-smiling half-Asian mug in your mailbox sometime soon. Also, the homey Denise told me that the former commentary editors of the Collegian were very disappointed in me for "selling out" or something. Sorry guys, honestly. I recently erected an H.L. Mencken shrine in the newspaper office to constantly remind myself not to violate any more codes of journalistic ethics.

Dear Barbara Bush: you are retarded. Sincerely, the world.

Joe Pelone pointed out something extremely bizarre about my last post. I linked a profile of an old-ass Western called The Son-of-a-Gun. If you scroll down, you reach a "Recommendations" heading that lists other movies you might like if you enjoy this one. Most of the movies are other Westerns, except for the very first (and most recommended) one. WHAT? My brain just short circuited. I'm not really sure how Rocky, Colt and Tum-Tum cinematically relate to a Western filmed in 1919, but I guess IMDB doesn't lie. Freaking weird.

Everybody's cheesing about new album from Cage (even Bol who, as we know, hates everything, including you and me). I like the dude, not as much as I like a dude like Aesop but I still think he's nuts. He's recently abandoned any type of hood look too which is a little interesting. Kinda looks like Jared Leto there. Shudder.

Go read my dude Adam's disturbingly exhaustive recount of his recent haircut. Beautiful, Travolta.

WHY? coming to town October 4 with US Funk Team and The Teeth (who and who? I think UFT is from Philly...). I'll definitely be there. Love this band, love the album. It's like folksy hip-hop They Might Be Giants or something. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's easier to get when you listen to it (Anticon site calls it "jangly psych-rock, folk-hop and peculiar pop"). I like it more and more every time I listen to it, and I don't really even enjoy most Anticon artists. Check "The Hoofs" and "Sanddollars," definitely the best song off the album. If those links don't work, try doing it here and here.


emynd said...

Random comment about me: You know I produced two songs with Why? on them? "The Attack of the Postmodern Pat Boone's" with pedestrian and "Cannabalism of the Object Beings" with pedestrian and Dose. This was back in like '99 or something. I'm awesome. Why? hardly remembers me though. I see him every few years and have to go to great lengths to remind him who I am. *Sigh* I'm not even famous and I'm already fading into obscurity. Somebody shoot me.

Anyway, I'm quite sure I've relayed to you that I'm really not that into that Anticon stuff anymore, but I'm still pretty proud of some of the songs I did with those dudes. I'll hit you with a cd of that shit.


Drew said...

I had no idea. I haven't listened to any Why? with just Yoni Wolf...I've only heard this newest album that he expanded his stuff with a full band. He used to just be solo right? But yeah, I'd definitely love the cd. Speaking of free cd's, what's up with Reef's? I can definitely get it on Okayplayer, my school paper and possibly City Paper if you got it.

emynd said...

I left it in Bo's car a couple weeks ago. I will get it for you tonight and burn it and will keep it on my person (i.e. in my car) at all times for you. What you doing this weekend? I'm at Blue Horseshoe DJing tomorrow and then hitting up Transit for The Rub (Cosmo Baker and DJ Ayres and DJ Eleven) on Saturday. Holler at your dork!


kibby said...

Drew, stop trying to blame your ABDL obsession on me. Seriously, thats fucked up. Seriously.