Monday, September 19, 2005

Back on the block like I'm laying on the street

When I find this little fucker, I'm going to play
that "reuniteddd and it feels sooo goooddd"

Haven't felt too inspired to write here these past few days, most due to my cat missing. For some reason, the screen on our basement window got ripped and he got out sometime Wednesday. I've been putting up posters around the hood (most of which have been ripped down by cat haters and/or drunk DMB fans), asking around everywhere and checked the area animal shelter, but no dice. Shit's a drag. I keep getting reassured that he will just pop up one day because cats tend to do that, but I also have some suspicions about some other possible locations for him. Not really worth going into, but just know that you can't hustle a hustler. Some individuals might be getting a dragon uppercut in the near future, or maybe the super knockout blow like when you hit select in Punchout. Bitches. If you live near me and you see this cat, please let me know. He's a lot bigger than he was in this picture, but he's still a fairly small-bodied cat. Le sigh.

This list of the most unusual excuses people have given for getting out of work strikes me as more of a list of dumb shit the writer made up because she got a stupid assignment and kept putting it off. I was spit on by a venomous snake? Come on homey.

Where's Waldo? Fight Klub edition. Hint: he's not black and he's not Asian Jin.

Jay-Z's declaring war on as-yet-unnamed adversaries. Shit is funny to me; it's crazy that Jay is so big and so respected that he can generate crazy buzz just for saying he has beef with people he's not even going to name. That'd be like if people freaked out if I said I didn't like a certain record but I didn't even say what record it was (this, of course, assuming that people knew who I was and I was as big as Jay-Z, which I definitely am). Dude's real big. Anyway, there's speculation that he's going to go at Game, which I don't really care about, and Jim Jones, which I think is hilarious. Jay and Jim is some crazy savvy mogul vs. savvy mogul shit. Also, check this priceless excerpt from a Jim Jones interview in XXL. They're talking (the writer being kris ex...eee gads) about the pros and cons of major label deals versus Jones' album-by-album deal with Koch. Capo status! (another one from last year).

XXL: But the trade-off is, when you sign with the major, you get on TV. Now you can come with the Pepsi commercial.

JJ: That ain't no fuckin' trade-off. That shit don't come with signing with no muthafuckin' deal. Eveyrbody ain't got no sneaker deal. Everybody ain't got no clothing deal. Only the niggas that's popping off is the elite. All these niggas that's popping got sneaker deals and all type of dumb shit going on- which is good, 'cause corporate America need to make some of this money. Pretty soon we gonna be doing Tropicana commercials and all that, 'cause we drink orange juice, too. Kellogg's and all that, I'm about to go after all that. I need some of that money. We eat cereal, too, in the morning.

Can you even begin to envision an orange juice commercial featuring Jim Jones? Because the mere thought makes my brain hurt like I've been huffing Dust-Off.

Capo on how no one gave him any looks early in his career:

JJ: I asked a lot of niggas for a million dollars. Nobody thought I was worth it. So I just did the shit myself and I made more than what I asked for. Goddamned, the boy is a genius!

And on his A&R hustle over at Warner:

JJ: I'm with them niggas that do that other shit. I need to find out if I can get in with that elite group. 'Cause you niggas is popping shit and these niggas clearing 20 million a year and they don't rap worth a bit. And they allowed me to come get in the building with them. I'm at least on the same floor. There's a couple of doors I can't go in, but when them niggas go to the ice machine- guess what? They see me, they holla at me: "How you doing, young man?"

Get this man his own sitcom now now now. I'd watch that shit in a second.

University of Florida newspaper caught heat for using "the word" in an editorial cartoon depicting Kanye and Condi Rice. I'm sure many have seen it, but here's a cheeky revamp and two staff editorials (here and here) defending the cartoon. The first writer concedes that its usage in a campus-wide publication is probably not the best idea in the world, but brings up several solid points:

We are the opinion section of a newspaper. We comment on societal norms and politics by pushing the envelope. So to UF administrators: We're glad you have taken this opportunity to open up a discussion on the danger of the casual use of "nigga" in Gainesville and in the nation. It means we've done our job. Now run with the idea and actually take a stance. Rather than focusing on a depiction of society, why don't you actually go out and protest the real thing?

Writer also mentions that Kanye himself uses the word in his music, and he was invited to perform at U of F (weakening the administration's stance that the cartoon is perpetuating racism on campus). I don't know if this writer's argument is all the way there (using Wayne Brady as an example usually doesn't do much to legitimize anything you say or write). I agree with it to an extent, and I staunchly oppose censorship (especially in campus papers), but I think this writer just needs to understand that use of the word, in an editorial manner or not, evokes very strong and passionate feelings. They didn't just know they were going to experience a backlash, they wanted to experience a backlash. They're probably reveling in it right now, as a matter of fact. Gives them something to write about. Is the issue being blown out of proportion? Probably. Was there any doubt (in the staff's mind) that it was going to get blown out of proportion the second it hit stands? Absolutely not. The artist's name is all over the Internet now (albeit with some hateful commentary attached), but still. You journalists, you...we all know you're way savvier than you want us to think you are, so just come on and put it out there already.

On a lighter whiter note, my dude Erich was recently pictured in the Inquirer painting a house. I love the cute human interest caption; also, Erich is the dude because he's all artistic and gave me a wooden wall Riley to display in the house until the real one comes back. Also, this picture!

Dear Ravens: get it together, you turkeys! Or, just get a damn quarterback. Shit.


kibby said...

Aww Drew! Riley is missing. Thats so sad, i can't even imagine if one of my kittens got out. He probably will come back if someone hasn't snatched him up yet. Lets hope they haven't. If you need to borrow mohawk or robokitty for moral support, lemme know.

emynd said...

Your cat is in my prayers. I've got an official copy of the Reef album for you. It's got your name written all over it... literally. I got bored and was daydreaming about you (naked) and I found myself unconsciously writing your name all over the CD and its case. I would give you the un-written on copy I have, but that means I'd have to give somebody else the copy of the CD with "Drew" written all over it (in blood, mind you) and that's just weird.


Drew said...

Kibby and Emil:

Thanks for your concern regarding Riley. Also, thanks for being the only two people in the world who read my blog (other than my sister).


emynd said...

Yeah, maybe my suggestion for you to leave myspace-blogging was a bit premature. I'm sorry, Drew. Perhaps you hadn't cultivated your reading-base yet. I miss the comments from random 19 year old girls that I've never met before like "OMG, Drew! No you didn't!"

In all honesty, you probably have more readers than you realize. Lots of folks are scurred to post comments. Kibby and I are warriors though.


kibby said...

I agree with emil. Not about you having more readers than you thought, but about me and emil being warriors.

emynd said...

"...Emil and I being warriors."


kibby said...

emil. are you sure that it's not "emil and me" or "me and emil"? I always thought that the rule was that you were supposed to be able to remove the other person's name from the sentence and have it read correctly. Like, "about me being warrior(s)" not "about I being warrior(s)". Neither one really makes sense, but the one with "me" sounds like it makes more sense, right? I don't know, you're probably right since you were an english major and all that but i could've sworn...

emynd said...

No, you're right. It would be "but about me being a warrior." I'm fucking worthless and hate myself.