Friday, August 26, 2005

Every topic has been covered but cookie-cuttered

Love this album all day.

Today I was on the subway reading a book, and when I looked up to see if my stop was up yet, I realized I was completely alone in a subway car. At face value, this doesn't sound weird at all, but it really is. I'm just so used to be crammed into the train with a crapload of people that the car being completely vacant struck me as really, really
Vanilla Sky weird. Gone were all the archetypes that I'm usually surrounded by when I commute downtown: the single parent with the face-meltingly cute baby, the clan of annoying girls who screech ridiculously loud (today they were all wearing Scream Tour 4 tees and singing Silk [the fuck?]; thankfully, they got off at Susquehanna-Dauphin), the weird white guy, the incense/DVD/candy man and the unassuming yet somehow out of place student (which I guess is usually me).

The slightly sketch corner store down the street from my house was recently revamped and renamed. Now, it's called Steve's Cafe and Mini Market. That's awesome. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it was named after
this Steve. Isn't that an amazing picture? I wonder how old he was there. Point guards grow up so fast these days.

Good piece by General Wesley Clark about the current state of the war. Also, I don't think Outkast is breaking up, Andre and Big Boi just cut solo records, that's all. Man, dated humor my humor isn't that funny.

Of course, Rick Reilly didn't print my stupid e-mail in
SI, but be on the lookout for my dinky and poorly written "Feeding Frenzy" column in next week's City Paper. Also, I got my own business card but not really because they're blank and you have to write your name and number in. Hilarious!

Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond skit. Amazing, even though it would be a lot better sans the Lorne Michaels commentary.

So this guy I'm working with for
this magazine wanted me to write an article about a kid who got busted stealing thousands of dollars of computers from area schools. Although I concede that it's an interesting and slightly hilarious story, it happened eight months ago in December, which is not even close to timely. I suggested that I might write a slightly less serious piece about how to avoid getting into political conversations with college students. I have a lot of experience with this topic and I think it'd be way more up my crack alley.

I thought my Honda Civic was pretty tiny, but
these are some of the smallest whips I've ever seen. Goddamn they're small.

So the mail chute on my door (which is metal) is somehow bent out at a 45 degree angle on the inside of the house. I have no idea how this happened, and I don't think it was any of the cats unless they have superfeline strength that I am just not aware of. Lou's theory was that somebody tried to shove a too-big package through the mail chute and it fucked the metal up, but my other roommate maintains that it was not bent when he got the mail off the floor earlier (although he admits he is only 20% sure of this). The only other theory we came up with was that our house was targeted for burglary by gnomes or primordial dwarves (who can hide behind coffee makers...saw it on Maury). Freaking mystery!

I'm pretty sure my cousin
Connie is going to save the world. She goes to Georgetown and is ridiculously smart. She made a social justice documentary. So, go ahead and watch Connie save the world, but please disregard the Carrot Top picture. I didn't need to see that shit, Maria Constance.

"Nearly all of them had this special motif," the police spokesman said. "He said he did it because he was mentally disturbed. I don't know if that was just a pretext."

Have a great weekend. I'll be laying facedown on the floor in my room if you need me.

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