Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Disco ball in my mouth insinuates I'm ballin


Ah, so my guy Jin/The Emcee totally lost to some other guy named Serius Jones at a $10k Fight Klub battle. Must've been a legitimate win though, because the judges were Miss Info ("They both had daggers, Serius' were just sharper"...haha), Sheek Louch and Just Blaze. Sheek Louch kinda stinks though.

50 Cent is suing local car dealer Gary Barbera for using his likeness in an ad or something. He's only suing him for a million though, and I feel like 50 doesn't really need a million from this dude. He's the guy who has those "Is Barbera the best? BOY I GUESS!" ads that pervade pretty much every aspect of my life. Also, I think 50 mentions him in "Piggy Bank."

Catchdubs had this exhaustive old-school toy retrospective linked. Chuck Norris toys are hilarious."Yeah, this is what every kid wanted for Christmas. Action figures based on the exploits of fucking Chuck Norris. Why not just give your kid a milkbone or spiral-bound notebooks?"

I know no one (including me) cares about
Blood of Abraham, but I wrote it up for Okayplayer anyway.

I've decided that going to community meetings sucks, especially if you're not from the community in question. I had to attend one last week to discuss a proposed development deal in Mt. Airy. These two developers wanted to share some of their ideas (which were super-early like) and get some feedback. For some reason, though, the entire meeting consisted of a bunch of annoying people (namely one really annoying guy in short-shorts) asking all these hyper-specific questions that could not be even close to answered due to how preliminary the proposal was.

It's good to care about what goes on in your community but these people seemed like they went to the meeting with a specific shit-starting agenda. The project seems like it would be really beneficial to the community in terms of attracting renters (which would boost the local economy), but short-shorts kept insisting that housing costs might go up so high that locals would no longer be able to live in their homes. This guy obviously doesn't understand what the hell he's talking about. Sure, housing inflation is a tangible phenomenon, but the guy's acting like every single landlord in the entire vicinity of Mt. Airy is referencing some economic textbook to ensure his/her rent charge matches the area average. I feel like most landlords are far more laissez-faire than that, my landlord for example. Dude hasn't had me sign a lease or anything since I moved into this place two years ago; I just send him a rent check every month and he's cool with it. Actually haven't spoken on the phone to the guy since December now that I think about it.

I think Suresh Joachim has the ability and drive to move Canada (and the US) into an undeniably utopian period of peace and understanding, end the Israel/Palestine conflict, free all political prisoners and eventually unite the entire world with the common cause of the advancement of mankind. For some reason, he's chosen to squander this gift and set 30 (soon to be 31) fucking pointless world records. I still respect him, though- a 400-hour dance marathon?! Shit, Suresh, that's nuts.

There's a beautifully written piece about the Israeli soccer team's two Arab stars in this week's Sports Illustrated. No one expected this team to be good, but (thanks to a clutch goal by one of the Arab players) they earned a surprise tie against the Irish national team in a recent match. This puts them into contention for a World Cup spot if they beat Switzerland coming up. I know it's quite cliche, but sports can often be more than just sports, and this is touched upon by the writer. These two guys play on an all-Jew squad and experience racist and murderous taunting from crowds in pretty much every game; many surrounding Arab countries refuse to take the field against Israel due to the deep-seeded problems there. Yet, instead of lash out against their naysayers, the two players speak of unity and equality in their country. The writer expressed their sentiments very eloquently when he said (paraphrased) "If there is a team called Manchester United, why can't there be a team called Israel United?" Amazing article. Even if you don't like soccer or sports in general, read it.

So I posted the other day about how my roommate and I were trying to get a ghetto zombie flick entitled Zombiez, but they didn't have it. When another customer overheard what we were trying to find, he offered to go up to the counter and get it for us (he also asked if we were looking for the "American or European version," to which we replied "Um, it's a ghetto zombie movie"). We appreciated his kindness even if it was slightly strange and forward. So we checked out some other flicks and got the shit up front, which actually ended up being called Zombies. Figuring it was just another low-budget gore flick, we went back.

Last night, Taylor puts the DVD into the player, watches for about three minutes and mumbles something about how shit looks low-budget as hell. Suddenly, I hear a gasp of horror from the living room. Now, Taylor isn't really one to be shocked by shitty zombie movies, so I knew something was up. It was a gay porno. A gay porno entitled Zombies. There was no indiciation of its gay porno status on the case or the DVD itself; Taylor just put it in and was treated to two shirtless fellows, one all bloody, dry humping each other in the opening scene. Suddenly, it became all too clear to me that the mysterious stranger at TLA was thinking of a completely different movie (and genre) than we were. It was really just not what I was expecting. Wow. Well, time to slap myself in the face now.

Well padre, I don't wanna keep you up all night, but this is the best Sin City trivia/info page I've ever seen (drinking game is so stupid though).

Copping that DangerDoom tomorrow hopefully. People don't really seem to like this thing that much, but I think it sounds interesting enough to at least give it a shot.


kibby said...

Hahahahaah......holy shit, i just died reading about Zombies. You guys rented gay ZOMBIE porn. Thats so funny. I love that the other guy totally thought that you were members of the wierd secret society of gay zombie porn watchers. awesome..... can i borrow it?

Drew said...

It's due today, but I'm sure you can get a copy downtown. Also, this gives an entirely new meaning to zombies yearning for "brain."